The first two weeks of the semester were filled will a lot of gossip, drama, and catching up with people I hadn't seen in three months. Unfortunately though, this means that not a lot of work was accomplished. That means that I now have one week to write a 20 page dissertation proposal, and complete my job applications.
I have definitely been dragging my feet on both of these. There is so much uncertainty that lies in the year ahead, and I am a person who enjoys a structured plan for the future. Starting these processes means that I am that much closer to the unknown. It also means that I am putting myself in a position that would allow me to fail in a major way.
Since we moved to VA in the summer of 2007, all anyone has asked me is how many years will it take me to get my degree. At first I answered this questions by confidently exclaiming that I would be award my Ph.D. after four short years. Now that answer has turned to a tentative, "May 2011, if everything goes as planned, but possibly August 2011." I now feel like everyone has high expectations for me to graduate this May, and I will feel like a failure if I am not able to accomplish this goal. However, I am also beginning to realize how ambitious this goal is.
Graduating also means that I need to have a plan for the future. What good is graduating if I am not able to secure a job? This also means that I have a lot of work to do finding positions, researching the schools, completing applications and preparing for interviews.
I am very excited about all of the possibilities that lay ahead of Mike and I, but am also very afraid of the unknown. I just need to keep reminding myself that I am not in control, and that I just need to trust in Him, and know that He has a plan for us.
Boy, that does sound nerve-wracking...just take it all one thing at a time. Who cares whether you graduate in May or August or even later? It will still be an accomplishment. I know you will get everything done in its own proper time, and in style too. Don't forget to mention to everyone you know that you're looking for a job soon, and to explain just what you're looking for...you never know who can help you! Good luck :)
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